The Summer Element
In one sense, summer is the easiest season to write about. Its lessons and intentions are about joy and connection, laughter and exaltation. It’s about the full expression of our most authentic selves. Summer is the season when we are most open and available to the world around us. It is the most yang of all the seasons; full sun, long days, short nights, full blooms and open hearts.
Every summer day between June 21st and September 22nd is its own unique day and, as we move through the season, palpable change can be observed. At the summer solstice, we still experience cloudy skies and rain here in the northwest. The trees and grasses are lush and bright green. On June 21st the sun sets at 9:11pm and it won’t get dark until after 10 (and will only be dark for seven hours). By the fall equinox the grasses are dry, the trees look parched and there’s an edge to the air suggestive of fall. The sun will set at 7:07 on September 22nd and we will already be preparing for the cold season.
I bring this up because everything about the natural world, including us, is in a state of constant change. We are always recycling cells, transforming food into energy, making more little folds of wisdom in our brains. We are ever-evolving creatures.
June is the perfect month for Pride because we already have the inclination to wear our hearts on our sleeves this time of year. More glitter, more color, more individuality starts to spark. We desire to present ourselves in our full beauty and vitality because that’s what the natural world is doing. We are drawn to each other because this is the time of year to make genuine human connections or deepen the ones we have. This is the time you want to linger sitting in the grass deep in conversation, or have one more loop around the block in a slow stroll, stretching out the night just a little bit longer.
Heart and Kidney Connection
One of my favorite philosophical pillars of Chinese medicine is the heart and kidney connection. The basic idea is that your Kidneys represent your DNA, destiny, life’s work, the agenda you’re born into this world with — whatever you want to call it. The Heart, on the other hand, lives in the moment. Every beat is fresh and new. The Heart is what immediately reacts to the incidents and interactions in our day-to-day lives. When those two organ systems are in good communication, a feedback loop is created. The Kidneys gently guide the Heart and our sense of overarching purpose. Likewise the Heart gives feedback to the Kidneys, always updating the sense of our place in the world, learning new things to deepen our work and keep it relevant. This feedback loop is how we can make sure we are doing things for the right reason: neither too spontaneous or impulsive but also not too inflexible or stuck in a previous version of ourselves.
The emotion most often associated with the Heart is joy, and the emotion associated with the Kidney is fear. While that is a vast oversimplification of the complexity of elemental medicine, one can see how too much joy leads to problems, and too much fear does the same. There is healthy joy and there is healthy fear. But when one takes over, imbalance ensues. These emotions should balance each other. With too much joy a lack of grounding or responsibility results. Too much fear and we live trapped in our smaller survival selves worrying about too many “what ifs.” It can instill a fear of change and a lack of personal evolution.
While it has always been important to stay open-minded and flexible, our ability to adapt is more essential now than ever. Our world and society are changing rapidly as many systems our society has relied on are breaking down rather chaotically. If we hold on too tightly to one philosophy or way of living, we will be putting ourselves and our relationships in peril. The human mind loves to categorize to allay its fears. Is this food good or bad? Is this new person a friend or an enemy? We decide so quickly we may not even notice a decision has been made. But we can evolve to be bigger than that. What if our ability to quickly categorize and identify threats is keeping us small and inhibiting our individuality? The rigidity of categorizing people based on old perceptions and biases only does us harm in the end. And it separates us from the evolving nature of our authentic selves.
Life Is A Spectrum
Our tastes and preferences are often subtly changing. What fashions we choose, what flavors bring us joy. As we deepen our knowledge and compassion our behavior mutates too. It makes logical sense that our identities shift over a lifetime. There can be a lot of insecurity in this new way of being but there is also freedom. As someone who’s never resonated with or enjoyed being put into categories, I love the freedom to define myself. I love the idea that my identity can change as I change and evolve. Burn the boxes! Let’s free ourselves to be who we are and challenge others to make space for the in-between. Because life is, and always has been, a spectrum.
My friend and skilled herbalist Rae Swersey once drew a chart for a training we were doing on inclusivity in clinical practice. There were three lines, one labeled “Gender Identity,” one labeled “Gender Presentation” and one labeled “Sexuality.” On one end of “Gender Identity” Rae wrote “masculine” and on the other end “feminine.” They wrote the same for “Gender Presentation” and for “Sexuality” they wrote “gay” on one end and “straight” on the other. Rae then took a pen and began to mark up the chart. “Today, a person might be here on the gender identity line,” they said while making a mark on the line. “In gender presentation they might be here,” and they made a mark on that line. “And today in sexuality they might be here. But this chart changes over time. It can be different every day for some people. Or even every hour. Because gender is a spectrum, as are gender presentation and sexuality. You are not stuck in a box, there aren’t even any boxes. They’re made up. The binary is imaginary.” This perfect summation overwhelmed me with relief.
I think about these assumed binaries all the time. I see how I move around on that chart day-to-day, year-by-year. It is a joy to make no assumptions about people I meet or see on the street. It is a privilege to hold open and unassuming space for patients to be who they are in every way. And when I am met with that kind of openness from others, I feel at home. Allowed to define myself by my own authenticity and not societal expectations.
The Binary is Imaginary
Queer, non-binary, trans* and gender queer people have existed since time began, in every culture. It’s not a new thing. It’s not a trend. About 1.7% of babies are born intersex. According to Amnesty International, “Intersex is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of natural variations that affect genitals, gonads, hormones, chromosomes or reproductive organs.” People may believe everyone is born strictly male or female, but that has never been true. Intersex variation is only one of the many ways the binary is exclusionary. In ancient cultures gender queer people were often seen as sacred, viewed as healers or people with one foot in each world. What would our world be like if we held the same reverence for the authentically uncatergorizable?
Venus, photo by Steven Miller
Once you recognize that gender is a spectrum, it’s obvious sexuality is on a spectrum, too. Terms like “pansexual” loop the concept of the spectrum into language. You are allowed to define your own gender and sexuality and that definition can change throughout your life or even day-to-day. You are allowed to be attracted and fall in love with people across a gender spectrum.
Yin and Yang
Another important pillar in Chinese medicine philosophy is that the separation of yin and yang means death. Everything in the universe is on this spectrum between yin and yang — nothing is 100% one or the other. This is one of the reasons why Chinese medicine is so fitting for people who find themselves uncategorizable. It is a medicine without societal judgment, one that acknowledges the necessity of every phase of life, every season, emotion, and all parts of the spectrum that create balance. Our world requires death and decay to create life and growth. It needs yin qualities to balance the yang. No body or ecosystem functions without a balance of the two. Everything is on that spectrum.
I hope this perspective offers a feeling of freedom and openness. Our flexibility and adaptability define our strength as a species. I leave you with a poem from writer and activist Alok, whose journey to self acceptance is a gift to us all.
I BELIEVE THAT I CAN FALL IN LOVE WITH EVERYONE IN THE WORLD. I BELIEVE I NEED OTHER PEOPLE TO FIGURE OUT MYSELF. I BELIEVE THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE JUST AS COMPLEX AND CONTRADICTORY AS ME. I BELIEVE EVERYONE HAS A FUNDAMENTAL DIGNITY AND WORTH SIMPLY FOR BEING. I BELIEVE WESTERN INDIVIDUALISM IS KILLING US. I BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE IN ROMANTIC LOVE TO BE CARED FOR. I BELIEVE THAT CARE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN CRITIQUE. I BELIEVE FRIENDSHIP IS SACRED. I BELIEVE THAT I AM AFRAID OF DYING ALONE. I BELIEVE LONELINESS IS A FORM OF INTERNATIONAL EMERGENCY. I BELIEVE THAT WE ARE MORE CONNECTED THAN EVER BUT HAVE NEVER FELT MORE ALONE. I BELIEVE WE SOMETIMES USE IRONY BECAUSE WE ARE AFRAID OF INTIMACY. I BELIEVE IN INTERDEPENDENCE. I BELIEVE THE WAY THAT WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT IS TO USE, AND NOT TO NEED. I BELIEVE NEEDY PEOPLE ARE HONEST PEOPLE. I BELIEVE FEELING IS ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS THINGS I HAVE EVER DONE. I BELIEVE SADNESS IS A FORM OF CONSCIOUSNESS. I BELIEVE WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO CRY IN PUBLIC. I BELIEVE DEPRESSION IS NOT MY FAULT. I BELIEVE WE WERE MEANT FOR SOMETHING MORE KIND AND JUST THAN THIS. I BELIEVE KINDNESS CAN BE A FORM OF JUSTICE. I BELIEVE I AM HEARTBROKEN NOT BY ONE PERSON, BUT BY THE WORLD. I BELIEVE THAT STRANGERS ARE POTENTIAL FRIENDS. I BELIEVE THAT STRANGERS ARE POTENTIAL FRIENDS.
-Alok